


Wallflower, Reaching for a Dream

by HiroAngelLight



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Angst, Brothers, Family, Gen, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Siblings, The Past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:35:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23921683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiroAngelLight/pseuds/HiroAngelLight
Summary: Hiro Hamada’s life is happy, even when his only living family are Tadashi and Aunt Cass. He thinks nothing will go wrong. Until someone from the past comes back and his life turns upside down.
Relationships: Hiro Hamada & Tadashi Hamada
Kudos: 18





	Wallflower, Reaching for a Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Big Hero 6.
> 
> Warning: Beware of typos and bad grammar. English is NOT my main language. I have this bad habit of not realizing my mistakes in my stories until days or even months after publishing the story. Also, this is unedited.
> 
> Enjoy!

**-oOo-**

In the hallway of SFIT Robotics Building, Hiro and Tadashi walked side by side. They were exchanging a new idea for their Hamada Bros Project. Tadashi looked at Hiro fondly, seeing the bright smile of his little brother as he kept talking about what they should invent later. Hiro, on the other hand, felt the excitement flowing through his veins. Thinking about how happy his life right now.

_Unlike in the past._

“Come on, Tadashi! You know how cool it would be if we can invent a faster and more efficient vehicle to use. Heck, we could be the first ones as the youngest investors who make a page in history!”

Tadashi chuckled, “Well, yeah, that sounds cool. But how about we wait till you reach eighteen and we do the test-drive together, hm?”

Hiro threw his hands in frustration, “Aargh, you’re no fun! I feel like I’m talking to an old man now.”

Hearing that, Tadashi gasped dramatically, “Ouch, Hiro, that stung! How could you insult me? Don’t you love this cool and handsome big brother of yours?” Hiro rolled his eyes and pushed him playfully, “Which part of you that’s cool and handsome, huh?”

“Look at me! I have a handsome face, cool fashion style, and lovable personality.”

Hiro snorted, “You mean everything about you screams a giant nerd?” Tadashi pulled him into his arms, tightly, “Alright, that’s it! I’m going to make you regret your words!”

“Aaaarrgghh, let go of me, you nerd!”

“Nope! Not until you apologize!”

For the students there, this kind of sight was natural if it involved the Hamada siblings. The older was truly a kind guy, and the younger was so cute. Sometimes the shyness and cuteness came from the younger made them cooed and silently agreed with those who thought Tadashi Hamada could never not love Hiro. No wonder Tadashi was so protective to Hiro. He must have loved his little brother so much.

_Although, a part of it was untrue._

The gang also liked Hiro. They thought of him as part of them, and their little brother in the group. Honey who often gave him treats of her homemade cookies. Wasabi who always reminded him about things he forgot or gave him tips for things. Fred who was enthusiastic to his comic books always had his ways to make him laugh. And Gogo, who sometimes sneaked Hiro some treats or brought him somewhere fun on her motorbike without Tadashi following and watching behind his back.

_Hiro loved his life now. He loved it so much._

Back at home, Aunt Cass with her joyful smile welcomed them back, “Hey there, my little geniuses! Dinner’s almost ready, and it’s hamburger curry rice!”

Hiro could feel his stomach growled and rubbed his hand on it, “Just by the sound of it, you’ve already made my stomach begging for dinner, Aunt Cass.”

Tadashi who stood beside him ruffled his hair, “Well, it’s her food we’re talking about. Let’s change our clothes so we can claim the prize.”

“You boys sound like you didn’t eat anything for years. Now hurry change your clothes then come down here before I give them to Mochi,” Aunt Cass said amusement in her voice.

Minute later, the three of them sat on their chairs and ate their dinner. They exchanged stories from the day. Aunt Cass even told them about how Mrs. Matsuda asked her if Tadashi would be interested with her granddaughter. The said guy choked on his food. While the other two laughed at him. Yes, this was a happy life even it was just the three of them.

_Until it suddenly wasn’t anymore._

**-oOo-**

Around mid-November, on Saturday where the brothers usually slept until an hour or two before lunch, Aunt Cass ran upstairs and entered their shared room. The loud steps disturbed the peaceful dreams of the brothers who were sleeping in a cuddle. “TADASHI! HIRO!” Aunt Cass called them in a shout, making the brothers jolted up from Tadashi’s bed to wake.

“Wha-what happened? Is the house in fire?” Tadashi asked in panic. Aunt Cass had this look that somehow made Hiro felt like something was going to turn down his life. “He’s alive..,” Aunt Cass said in whisper.

They didn’t really hear it, so Tadashi asked her to repeat what she just said, “Can you say it again, Aunt Cass? I don’t think you were loud enough for us to hear.”

“He’s alive,” she started. “Mirai is alive!”

And just like that, Hiro’s world crumbled down.

**-oOo-**

Aunt Cass told them that she got a call from the police, saying that her other nephew, Mirai Hamada was still alive. They asked her if she wanted to meet him. Aunt Cass was really shocked after hearing about her other nephew’s shocking news. She told the police that she and her nephews were going to go there. And after that, she rushed to Tadashi and Hiro’s shared room to tell the news.

Hiro’s hand curled into fists and his body started trembling. He slowly turned his gaze to his brother and saw the shock on his face. Tadashi was at loss of words. Aunt Cass asked if they wanted to come with her to meet Mirai. Hiro didn’t say anything, but Tadashi, hurriedly said that he wanted to come.

Hiro, on the other hand, felt a churn in his stomach, but didn’t say anything. He knew his world had turned upside down the second the name was mentioned. He just hoped his life would stay the same. He didn’t want to go back there. The life before everything.

_He didn’t want it._

The drive to the police station was filled with silence, and anxiety. But as soon as they arrived, Aunt Cass and Tadashi hurriedly went inside, Hiro followed behind them slowly. Aunt Cass told the front officer that she had an appointment with Officer Tacto. The officer checked his computer and nodded, telling her to go to their right and turn left until they saw the third door with Officer Tacto nameplate hung on the door. She thanked him and the three of them walked following the officer’s instruction.

Aunt Cass knocked the door and then they heard someone from the inside said to come in. They entered the room, and they saw a man around mid-forty sitting on the whirl chair. Seeing them, the officer smiled and stood up to greet them, “Ah, you must me Mrs. Takachiho, the Hamadas’ aunt, yes? I’m Officer Bryan Tacto. Please have a sit.”

They sat on the chairs after they shook hands with the officer. Aunt Cass started, “I-is it really my nephew?”

“Yes, we have ran finger print and iris tests, they matched with Mirai Hamada. From the story we got from his adoptive parents, they found the boy several kilometers away from the fire that burned the Hamada’s house and killed the parents. The boy was heavily injured, had minor burns, and amnesia. The boy mumbled that his parents were dead, and the couple decided to adopt him.

“He was given a new name. Continued his life as the couple’s younger son for years. Until a few days ago, the boy suddenly got his memories back. He asked the couple to find information if there’s at least one of his family members who’s still alive. We didn’t believe the boy at first, until we ran the tests. After the result came out, we immediately contacted you,” Officer Tacto explained.

“Can we.. see him.. now?” Tadashi asked weakly. The officer nodded with a smile then stood up from his chair, “Please, follow me. The boy and the couple have been waiting for you in another room.”

Then they followed Officer Tacto to another room. Once they arrived at the front door, the older Hamada gulped and braced themselves to meet the person they thought was dead. Officer Tacto opened the door and walked in along with the Hamadas. In the room, sat a boy who looked like Hiro and a couple around their late thirties. The boy, Mirai, stood up, looking at them with glassy eyes.

Aunt Cass was first to approach him, “Mirai, sweety, do you remember me? It’s me, Aunt Cass, your mom’s little sister.”

Mirai smiled, “A little bit. Were you the one who used to sneak up some cookies for me?”

“Yes,” Aunt Cass choked a teary smile. Mirai hugged her. Aunt Cass hugged him back, sobbing a bit. “Oh, sweety. I’m so sorry. We didn’t know you’re still alive.”

“It’s okay, Auntie. I’m okay now.” He pulled away and looked at Tadashi, “Tadashi.. nii-chan?”

Tadashi rushed toward him and pulled him into his arms. Mirai squeaked, shocked at the sudden action. “Oh, Mirai. My baby brother. I missed you.. so much!” Tadashi said, tears fell on his cheeks. Mirai smiled and hugged him, “I missed you, too, nii-chan.” They stayed like that for a while. Until Mirai noticed Hiro who stood a bit far away from them.

Mirai let go of Tadashi and looked at Hiro, tilting his head aside, “Hiro? What are you doing there? Didn’t you miss me, too?”

Hiro was fidgeting with his fingers, “Uuh, I did. I just.. I don’t know how to process.. this?”

Mirai approached Hiro and pulled him into a hug, “Well, I know. It’s weird, right? I missed you, my twin brother.” Hiro wasn’t sure what to do, so he reluctantly returned the hug. “And it’ll be fun from now on,” Mirai whispered to Hiro’s ear, making the other’s eyes grew wide and his body gone cold.

_The past was repeating itself._

After the reunion session, they all sat on the chairs. The couple introduced themselves as Yohan and Fasca Wimbleton, Mirai’s adoptive parents. They told them the stories about finding the small Mirai heavily injured and burned, how the boy had amnesia, until they made the decision to adopt him into the family and gave him Andy as a new name. They had a 18 years old son named James, who became Mirai’s older brother in their house. Although, for some reason, their son didn’t like Mirai and they didn’t know why.

They talked more about each other, except Hiro who remained silent on his seat. They bad farewell two hours later. Mirai went home with the Wimbleton since they were legally his adoptive parents, and the older Hamadas knew the couple were good people. Mirai promised them he would come visit them often. So, it was the three of them again. Their road back filled with another silence, just like when they headed to the police station a few hours ago.

**-oOo-**

“What do you mean we must make another room planning?” Hiro asked, half shouting.

“Hiro, dear. We must make a plan about rooming so we can make a space for Mirai,” Aunt Cass explained with a sigh.

“He did say he would make a visit, but is it really necessary to make a room for him??”

“Honey, why are you so against the idea?”

“Because we have an empty room we can change into a guess room but you chose to make changes with my and Tadashi’s room!”

“Watch your tone, young man! And what’s wrong with that? You three are siblings, so of course I will make you three sleep in one room if possible.”

“But Aunt Cass, he’s already adopted! He has his own house and room there and even if he visits, he doesn’t need a permanent room here!” Hiro protested. He really tried to control his anger but he couldn’t keep his tone down.

“Now I’m wondering why you’re acting so hostile when we’re talking about him?! He’s your twin, Hiro!”

“Yes, he’s my twin. But you’re being un-”

“Enough!” Tadashi shouted at them, making Aunt Cass and Hiro stopped and turned their gazes toward Tadashi.

Tadashi sighed, “I think we are all tired. We can discuss about this later, but for now, let’s finish our dinner then go to sleep. Okay?” From his voice, Tadashi made it clear that it was the end of discussion. So, the two stopped arguing and continued eating their dinner in silence. Tadashi rubbed his temple before he continued his own dinner.

“Hiro,” Tadashi called right after Hiro plopped down to his bed. “What?” Hiro asked with a muffled voice.

Hiro could feel the dip on his bed. Hiro sat up, eyes locked to his hands. “I just.. I just want to know. Why did you protest when Aunt Cass said she wants to make a space for Mirai? He’s your own twin, you know,” Tadashi asked softly.

“Tadashi, he’s legally adopted. He has a new family. And he seems happy with them. He lives here in San Fransokyo. So, even if he visits us, or maybe even stay overnight, he can just use the guest room. No need to make a permanent space here for him,” Hiro explained, his voice low.

Tadashi didn’t say anything for a while. Then he caressed Hiro’s hair gently, “There’s something you didn’t say, isn’t it? Something else that’s been nagging you since the news.”

Hiro pursed his lips, “You didn’t remember, did you?”

Tadashi raised his eyebrow, “About what?”

“Nothing,” Hiro let out a sigh. “Just.. forget it. Even if you know, nothing will change anyway.” Hiro pulled up his legs to the bed and buried himself under the blanket. Only his messy hair could be seen.

Tadashi frowned, “Hiro.”

“Night, Tadashi.”

It sounded as if Hiro didn’t want the conversation to continue. Tadashi leaned down and kissed his head, “Night, Hiro.”

Tadashi got up and walked to his own space. But then, he could hear a faint sound coming from Hiro. He turned around and saw Hiro didn’t move. He was sure he heard something. Just he didn’t know what it meant. He shrugged it off and lied on his bed after he turned off the light.

Something churned in Tadashi’s stomach. He couldn’t pinpoint why but he knew it was usually as if something bad would happen if he made any mistake. The uneasy feeling stayed. He forced his mind to forget about the feeling. But Hiro’s faint words were plague in his head.

_“The past is repeating itself, and it might be getting worse.”_

**-oOo-**

The next day, Tadashi said something that made Hiro felt relieved. He told Aunt Cass to just clean the empty room and change into a comfy guest room they could use for Mirai or anyone else. The reason was since Mirai was legally adopted, he wouldn’t stay there permanently, and the longest visit might be on school break only. So, it would be effective if they just make use of the empty room rather than letting the room unused and covered with thick dust. Aunt Cass bit her lower lip and seemed to think about Tadashi’s words in silence. She then sighed and agreed to Tadashi, much to Hiro’s relief.

When Aunt Cass left to get the cleaning supplies, Tadashi turned his eyes toward Hiro and smiled, “Feeling better now?”

Hiro nodded, “Yeah. Thanks, Dashi.” Tadashi ruffled Hiro’s hair, “If there’s something that’s bothering you, don’t hesitate to talk to me, okay?”

He nodded again, “Okay.”

They started cleaning after they finished their lunch. And after several hours, the dusty empty room was now clean. There was a medium sized bookshelf with lots of books and magazines neatly arranged in it, a medium sized closet, and a small drawer. Aunt Cass then told them she was going to order a single bed for the room. Since they were all too tired after cleaning the room, Aunt Cass asked what they wanted for dinner so she could order it. And the siblings said pizza.

Before going to sleep, Hiro hugged Tadashi in their room. “Thanks for today.” Tadashi hugged him back, “Of course. Anything else I can do to help you?” Hiro pulled away. He seemed hesitant before he finally asked, “Will you promise me something?”

“What is it?”

“Promise me that you’ll never change? Always stay like this.. like the big brother I know?”

Tadashi knew there was something behind it. But he chose not to ask. “Okay,” he said. “I promise.”

Hiro hugged him again, “That’s all I ask for now.”

“You know, if I change, who will be the coolest big brother here who can make fun of you? No one but me can, Hiro.”

At this, Hiro punched Tadashi’s arm, “You jerk! You just ruined the moment!”

“Aaawww,” Tadashi cooed. “Come here, you big baby.” He opened his arms and made a kissy face. Hiro looked at him in disgust, “Eeeeww! Stay away from me, you weirdo!” Tadashi didn’t listen. He caught and trapped Hiro in his arms, “Gimmwe a kwiisss, Hiwroooo..”

“No! Oh my God, stop!” Hiro squirmed, trying to get out. “Tadashi, you nerd! Let me go!”

“Nope! Not until you give me a kiss~” Tadashi sang playfully.

Hiro stared at him in disbelief, “Oh my God, what are you?? Ten?!”

They did their brotherly things until they were exhausted and fell asleep on Hiro’s bed. Tadashi wrapped his arms around Hiro, making the younger curled up and leaned his back closer to the older. And this time, it might be the last time they slept in cuddles like this as siblings.

_Before the storm came to destroy everything._

**-oOo-**

The next Saturday, Mirai came to the café to visit them. Hiro didn’t like it. Since he came, Aunt Cass and Tadashi’s attentions were all given to him. At first, Hiro ignored it, thinking that it might be because they just wanted to catch up with him. He thought once Mirai went back home, the two would act normally again.

_But oh how wrong he was._

Turned out Mirai stayed over the weekend. Aunt Cass cooked a lot of food, saying it was to welcome the once-thought-was-dead nephew back. And it was to tell him that Mirai would always be welcomed there anytime he wanted. Mirai showed how joyful he was by hugging Aunt Cass and ate her food like he was eating heaven’s food. Of course, it made Aunt Cass happy that her other nephew loved her cooking.

And as for Tadashi, he went to the guest room and slept with Mirai there. Cuddling Mirai like a protective brother he was. He even started doing more things with him than with Hiro. He tried to ignore it, too. Thinking once weekend was over, Mirai would go back and everything would be back to normal.

_And once again, how wrong he was._

Mirai began to come often to stay every weekend. He stole all of the attentions he could get from both Aunt Cass and Tadashi. It left Hiro on the dark side. No one really paid attention to him anymore. Even when they all ate dinner together.

_He became the wallflower in the family now, just like in the past._

Not enough with that, Mirai sometimes also came to SFIT to visit Tadashi. This shocked everyone else because no one ever thought Hiro Hamada had a twin. Tadashi then explained the circumstances to the gang, and through Fred, it spread everywhere. Everyone came to like Mirai, especially the gang. They treated Mirai exactly like how they treated Hiro. It was as if his position as the little brother was completely stolen by his own twin.

Something that made Hiro even sadder was when Christmas came, he received no presents. The Christmas presents were all for Mirai. He watched from afar when Mirai was laughing happily while opening all the presents he received. Aunt Cass and Tadashi joined him. They talked and laughed together, as if Hiro Hamada didn’t exist.

Hiro didn’t want to see it anymore. So, he decided to just go back to his room and sleep. From the corner of his eye, he saw Mirai smirking evilly at him. Hiro pretended not to see it and continues walking away. Once he was in his room, Hiro laid his body on his bed with eyes staring at the ceiling.

‘I knew this bounded to happen once Mirai came back to our lives. But, why does he still like doing it? Making me suffer by stealing people’s attentions for himself. We are twins. But he acts like I shouldn’t be existed. Like it’s all should be about him without me in the picture.’

Hiro felt something bubbled up inside and silent tears started to roll down his face. He wanted to get it out, but he was really sure nobody would ever believe him. Then he remembered about the journal he got from Tadashi but he rarely used. He got out from his bed and searched for it. After he found it, he took a pen and wrote down everything there.

**-oOo-**

Another six months passed, nothing changed. Hiro was still the wallflower in the house. Nobody really paid attention to him anymore. He was so alone. Loneliness chained him tight. And his voices were never listened.

The house where they lived was still the same. The smell of coffee lingered around the house. Delicious bakery goods were lined up that made everyone drooled when their eyes landed on them. Chatters heard from the café. The warmth of a family that whispered comfort and safety. And moments to share and remember.

But all of them just made his heart broken even more. He felt hollow inside. Living in the dark with a blanket of coldness draped over him. And being friends with despair and misery. This was his life now.

_Could he really accept his life now?_

At first, maybe.

_Now, he couldn’t take it anymore._

Today was both his and Mirai’s birthday. Mirai said he had begged to his adoptive parents to let him celebrate his birthday with them. Aunt Cass and Tadashi were ecstatic when they heard about this. So, they decided to throw a party. The first birthday party after Mirai was found.

But the thing that made Hiro furious, was the fact that it was written as “Mirai’s Birthday Party”. How couldn’t he be furious? Mirai and him were twins. And yet, his name wasn’t written on the birthday banner. And not even the cake. He already didn’t get a Christmas for himself last year, and he didn’t want it to happen to his birthday, too.

Hiro finally made up his mind and confronted Mirai, “When are you going to stop this?”

Mirai, who was sitting on the couch and watching a TV show while Aunt Cass and Tadashi were preparing for the party downstairs, raised an eyebrow, “What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about!”

“Oh? You never said anything and you decided to now? Wow, congrats, Hiro,” Mirai scoffed at him mockingly.

This made Hiro felt more furious, “You already have a new complete set of family! Why don’t you just go back to them, huh?! I never get why you always try to make my life a living hell by stealing all the attentions and make me live in your shadow!”

“You have no idea?! Because of you, I was born weak, you dumbass! You should have never existed! I would have been born normal and have a good brain if you hadn’t born! Don’t you feel sorry at all for making me like this!? By living in my shadow is the least you can do! Or even better, just die already!” Mirai yelled at him.

“Me?! It’s not my fault you were born this way! We could have been good twins if you never made yourself this evil!” Hiro yelled back.

“Evil?” Mirai chuckled darkly. “If I’m evil, you would be dead long ago and no one would suspect it as a murder, Hiro. Just be grateful I still let you live a good life even if it means you’re an outcast!”

“Grateful?! Are you ki-”

“Hiro, Mirai? What’s going on in here? Why are you two yelling?” Tadashi asked from behind them. Aunt Cass was behind him, too.

Mirai suddenly ran to Aunt Cass and hugged her with fake sobs, “Auntie, Hiro is being mean to me?”

“What?” Aunt Cass looked at Hiro, confused. “Hiro? Is it true?”

“What?! No! I-”

“He asked me why I’m still alive then told me to just die,” Mirai said between his fake sobs. Tadashi and Aunt Cass gasped in horror.

Tadashi looked angry at Hiro, “Hiro, why did you say that?! He’s your own twin! How could you say something like that to him?!”

“Yes, Hiro. I never taught you to be a bad person. Let alone saying someone should die like that!” Aunt Cass added, anger could be heard from her voice.

Hiro couldn’t believe it. They really believed Mirai just like that?!

“I didn’t say that! It was him who said it to me!” Hiro tried to defend himself.

“Hiro, how could you say that? I would never say such a thing. We’re twins, Hiro! How could you..,” Mirai lied. He made his fake sobs sounded louder and ran toward the guest room.

Aunt Cass glared at Hiro, “I’m really disappointed with you, Hiro. I really am! It should be happy day, but you just decided to ruin it.” Then she turned her back and headed to where Mirai was. Hiro stared at her back, gaped in disbelief.

“Hiro.” Hiro turned his eyes toward Tadashi who was looking at him with the same disappointed look like Aunt Cass earlier. “Why did you do that?”

“I’ve said it already, I didn’t say what he said!”

“If you didn’t, then why did he say that? Mirai wouldn’t say such a thing unless..”

Hiro narrowed his eyes, “Unless what? You really think I’m a person who likes to threaten people? Someone who likes to wish people to die soon? Is that it?”

Tadashi frowned, “Hiro, I want to believe you. I really do.”

“Then why don’t you?!”

“Because I don’t know which one is lying right now!” Tadashi replied, tone raised. “So, you just decided to believe him and accuse me for lying?! Unbelievable Tadashi!” Hiro shouted at him.

“Hiro-”

“You don’t know anything about him, and yet you talk like you know him more than I do! He’s a liar! He’s been a liar since we were kids! He’s evil! You don’t know what he had done to me! All my life he always did and still does things to make my life a living hell! Nobody even wants to listen to me because he’s goddamn bastard who likes to wear mask here and there so he can get people’s attentions! He’s the real bad one here! Not me! My life was good and happy until that fucking evil twin of mine came-”

SLAP!

For Hiro, it felt like the time gad stopped for a moment. His cheek.. hurt. He slowly raised his hand and rubbed it on where it hurt. He then slowly turned his head and saw Tadashi’s hand high in front of him. Hiro didn’t know when he approached him

“Tada-”

“Just stop. Whatever you were saying before.. just stop. I don’t want to hear you badmouthing your own twin like that,” Tadashi told him, with his tone sounded like he was holding himself from exploding.

But, that wasn’t the only thing. “Tadashi.. you.. slapped me..,” Hiro whispered. It brought Tadashi back to his common sense, “Oh no.. Hiro, I’m-”

Hiro cut him while slowly backed away, “No. You.. you never slapped me.” Tears started falling, “I.. I just.. I tried to tell you.. everything. And.. you slapped.. me.” Hiro’s body started to tremble.

Tadashi tried to reach Hiro at first. But he clenched his fist and turned his back on Hiro. “I hope you learn to never badmouthing your own twin again, Hiro.” After saying that, Tadashi left Hiro to Mirai’s room. Leaving the crying little brother alone.

Hiro couldn’t keep his tears from falling. “Tadashi slapped me. He had never slapped me… even when I did something terrible before,” Hiro said lowly. “He hates me. I.. I don’t.. I don’t have anyone anymore..”

His feet brought him back to his room. Now, he was holding his journal. He opened it and took a pen. He wrote everything he felt. And when he was done, he closed it and put it back into his drawer.

He let out another silent sobs. He couldn’t believe it. After all these years, he still couldn’t have someone who would love him no matter what. He was alone. He had been alone all this time.

_And it hit him even harder._

Hiro grabbed his phone, wallet, and jacket. After that, he shoved his phone and wallet to his pocket, and put on his jacket. He silently walked out. From the stairs, he knew the three of them were still inside Mirai’s room. So, he walked out the door and closed it without even looking back.

_As if he would never come back again._

**-oOo-**

It was dark outside. Hiro watched the moving scenery of the city from the inside of a tram. His eyes looked empty. Unhappy. And lifeless.

Like he was just a body without a soul and emotion of the living.

‘I thought, everything would be fine. I thought I’d be living a happy life where my family who love and care for me. I thought my dream of being loved would come true. Heh, guess it’s just a meaningless dream now.’

Rain was pouring outside. Everything that he could see through the window became a blur. The sound of the rain hitting the tram’s roof was so loud. Somehow, he could smell the heavy rain. And he could also feel the coldness pierced through the clothes he was wearing.

‘So empty. So cold. I’m just a wallflower that tried to reach a dream, but fell hard to the depth of a stony cliff.’

Suddenly, a loud brake sound was heard from the tram. Everyone in the tram was shaken so hard and then, something hit the right side where Hiro and some other passengers sat really hard. Everything happened so fast that all Hiro could remember, was screams, shattered glass, and pain.

He was now lying on the hard cement of the road. Not knowing how he ended up there. The rain poured on him, washing away the flowing blood that came out from his body. All he felt was pain. And cold.

‘In the end, I’ll die this way. What a pitiful death for such a wallflower.’

Hiro felt his eyes became heavier and heavier. Then, everything turned dark.

**-oOo-**

Three hours later, in front of the Hamada household, everyone was biding their goodbyes. The gang, Mirai, and his adoptive parents. Tadashi and Aunt Cass watched as their vehicles drove away until they couldn’t see them anymore. Now, everyone had gone home. The house became silent again.

Earlier, after the episode where the twins were yelling toward each other, they continued preparing for Mirai’s birthday party. The gang and Mirai’s adoptive parents came. They celebrated the birthday party with just several of them. They all enjoyed the party. And Mirai seemed to be happy, too.

But Tadashi felt like something was missing. Like it shouldn’t be ‘just that’. Though he felt that way, he didn’t know what it was. He tried to forget about it. And yet, he failed. He kept thinking about it until now.

RIIIIINNNNGGGG!!

It was the café’s telephone. Aunt Cass hurriedly picked up the phone, “Hello? Yes. Yes. WHAT?!” Tadashi jumped at Aunt Cass’ shout. He saw Aunt Cass ending the call from whoever it was, and when he could see the look on her face, he knew it was a bad news.

“Aunt Cass? What’s wrong? Who called?” Tadashi asked. Something churned inside his stomach.

“Hiro….” Aunt Cass muttered.

“What’s wrong with Hiro?” Fear was starting to creep inside of him.

Aunt Cass’ eyes became glassy and tears fell from her eyes. With trembling lips, she told him, “Hiro… is dead.”

_Tadashi’s world shattered into pieces._

**-oOo-**

They were both now in the mortuary. There was a bed with a body lied on it, covered with a white thin blanket. Tadashi approached the bed, and with his trembled hand, he pulled down the blanket. It was Hiro’s body. Soaked, and bloodied.

And lifeless.

Tadashi then remembered what he did to his little brother just hours ago, where he was still alive and breathing. He didn’t listen to him. He slapped Hiro’s face. He turned his back on him. He didn’t apologize even after he saw the tears on Hiro’s face.

And now, Hiro was already gone.

Tadashi started crying so hard. Aunt Cass did, too. They were both now crying. Crying over a dead body of someone who used to fill their life with joy. Someone so bright they used to love so much.

_Hiro Hamada was dead._

**-oOo-**

Tadashi was now lying on Hiro’s bed. Trying to feel his little brother’s presence that was still left inside the one used to be their shared-room. It had been a week since Hiro’s funeral. He remembered vaguely that he told Mirai to not come visit them for some time. It hurt to see him when his face reminded him of someone who wasn’t there anymore.

Tadashi got up and decided to check on the things Hiro left behind. Maybe he could decide which ones to keep and which ones to be thrown away. He looked around, and he didn’t know where to start. Then he chose the desk first. It was messy, just like how Hiro left it the last time.

He checked the things he could see there. Until he opened the drawer and caught a glimpse of a blue journal. He took it and brushed it with his hand. He remembered this journal. He gave it when Hiro was twelve. He opened the journal and read what’s inside.

First pages were all about new ideas and random things. But then, the middle was… Hiro’s diary. When he checked the date, it was six moths ago. Right on Christmas.

_December 25, 2435_

_I know I’m not the type of person who writes a diary. But it’s a journal, and I can write whatever I want, right? So, today, I’m really sad. You see, I have a younger twin, and his name is Mirai. He was born weak, so he must not feel stressed or do hard things if he doesn’t want to get sick, or even get sent to the hospital for days. I want to love him like other people do to their siblings, but with all the things he has done to me, I just.. can’t._

_Since as long as I can remember, he’s been doing things that make people forget that I also exist. When we were little, which I don’t know how I can still remember to this day, he would do anything just so people’s attentions would go to him only, and not me. He always tried to prevent others to give any attention to me. And if small things couldn’t, then he would pretend that he felt sick and weak, enough for people to be worried of his well-being. Because of that, I became a wallflower who lived in his shadow. Unseen by other people, even by my own family._

_I never knew how mom and dad’s love felt like. I never knew how it felt to be a spoiled toddler. I never knew how happy it would feel to get treats from older people. And I still remembered the day we went to a supermarket, mom told me we didn’t really have that much money because of Mirai’s hospital treatments were very expensive so I couldn’t even get her to buy me a small pack of candies. Yet, she let Mirai chose a big pack of candies that costed three times from the one I asked her. It made me really sad because of the unfairness that time, but I tried so hard to be a good boy and understand our circumstances._

_Even Tadashi gave most of his attention to Mirai that time. I thought to myself, “Why should I be born to this world if my destiny is to live a lonely life?” I often thought about it, until the fire happened and only Tadashi and I who were saved from that tragedy. Tadashi was playing with his friends somewhere, and I was able to find a way out without knowing how the fire started or if my family could get out alive. I know I shouldn’t be happy, but I was happy that Mirai was declared dead._

_After that, we began living with Aunt Cass. I was soooo happy, I could finally feel the love of a family, even if we’re not a complete set of family. Just an aunt and two nephews. At first, I knew Tadashi saw me as Mirai. But after so long, he finally accepted his death and started treating me as Hiro, his little brother._

_I love Tadashi. I love Aunt Cass. So much. Because of them I know how it feels to be loved. Because of them, I know how it feels to live my life as happy as I can. I even had friends at SFIT thanks to Tadashi’s help. I love them too, because they’re my friends and they treated me well._

_And then, Mirai came back again. I hoped he already changed and maybe, we could live a decent life as twins. But no. He hasn’t changed at all. Still an attention thief. An evil twin. I’m just glad he’s already adopted, so he won’t live with us here. But he keeps visiting and stay over the weekend. Even holidays. And even at SFIT._

_Everyone started ignoring me since he came back. I spend most of my time alone. And try to hold my tears every night so I wouldn’t wake Tadashi up. It hurts. Now I’m living in Mirai’s shadow again. But I always try to be strong to keep on living the best I can so Tadashi and Aunt Cass will be proud of me._

_Today, I feel even sadder and lonelier. It’s Christmas, and not only they’re pouring all their attentions to Mirai. But I also didn’t receive any presents. Not even a good morning. And not even a warm smile. Before I left the living room, from the corner of my eyes, I could see Mirai smirking evilly at me. I pretended not to see._

_So, yeah. That’s all I want to write for today. I’m already tired from crying and writing right now. So, maybe I will write another thing if I feel like to. Don’t know when, though. Night, journal._

Tadashi didn’t know what to say or feel. He took another breath and checked if Hiro wrote another. He found one. And it was written on the day Hiro died. He gathered his energy to read it.

_June 14, 2436_

_Hey again, journal. It’s been six months, huh? Well, yeah, something happened again. Today is My and Mirai’s birthday. And you know what? There’s no my name, neither on the birthday banner nor on the cake._

_I was so furious when I saw it. It’s my birthday, too. And yet, they’re only throwing a birthday party for Mirai. So earlier, I decided to confront Mirai and asked why he’s still doing these things. Stealing people’s attentions, and make them forget about my existence._

_And he finally said it. He blamed me that because of me, he was born weak. He can’t do a lot of things due to his weak body. He said if I were never born, he would be born healthy and could do a lot of things. How he wishes I never exist._

_And he told me, the least I can do for him, is to live in his shadow. Unseen by other people. And live a cold and lonely life. It’s never my fault he was born this way. I don’t want to live like that just because my twin was born weak and blaming me for that!_

_We argued. We yelled. Until Tadashi and Aunt Cass came and asked what was going on. And that shitty evil twin of mine just fake crying in Aunt Cass’ arms. He even told them lies by saying that I told him to die, something that he actually said to me before they came._

_What’s worse, they believe him. Now they think bad of me. They took Mirai’s side. I tried to explain everything to Tadashi. And you know what he did?_

_He slapped my face._

_In all the years since we started living as real siblings, he had never slapped my face before. I cried in front of him. Instead of saying sorry, he told me to learn to never badmouthing Mirai. Then, he left me alone. He chose to comfort Mirai who’s faking everything right now._

_My world had crumbled down since he came back. And now, my own family broke my heart by taking the side of someone who wants me to die and never exist in this world._

_Maybe, Mirai is right._

_I should just die._

_That way, I won’t live like this and be a wallflower anymore. I won’t feel pain. And I won’t be hurt. And if this will be my last diary, then I have something to say._

_Tadashi, Aunt Cass… I love you. Thank you for giving me your love, care, and attention. Because of you both, I know what live is. Please tell Gogo, Honey, Wasabi, and Fred that I love them, too. Thank you, and goodbye._

_Ps. I might rip this page later._

Tadashi felt his tears streaming down his face. Hiro, his dear little brother. He lived such a miserable life caused by Mirai, his twin brother, and he never knew. Now, he remembered Hiro asked him once if he remembered about something from the past. And the words he heard Hiro whispered at one night about the past was going to repeat itself.

If only he knew. If only he found out sooner. Then maybe, Hiro wouldn’t die in that accident that night. He wouldn’t watch people buried him six feet under the ground. He would be still alive here. And he would be living a bright future.

But it all already happened. He couldn’t change the past. He couldn’t bring back Hiro. He couldn’t do anything to have Hiro by his side again. All he could do now, was crying in regret, holding Hiro’s last journal closely to his heart.

**-oOo-**

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: I’m back! And with a new fic! *gasps* I.. I wrote a 7k fic for a oneshot?!?!? No wonder my hands and brain are screaming in pain now XD Yeah, this is an angsty fic. But I don’t anyone will cry because of this fic, tho. But I hope you guys have a pack of tissue nearby if you do, lol. XD
> 
> Anyway! You guys can give a shout out to me through DM on my Instagram (lilykeitha). Until next time~


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